Friday 24 April 2015

Passive Aggressive Agenda War Continues...

So a while ago I blogged about Frack's teacher wanting me to  sign his agenda every day (whether there was a note from her in there or not) and her passive aggressive way of going about communicating this desire to me.

I continued not signing blank spots and she became more persistent with her circles.  So much so, that Frack started to believe that she wanted him to be drawing circles in his agenda every day.

Those circles on the right are Frack's.  He turned out to be a more consistent circle drawer than Mme.

One day Frack came home from school and told me he was afraid to go to school the next day.  When Frack is upset he doesn't communicate very well so it was difficult to understand him.  But he did say that Mme was going to show the principal his agenda and for some reason he thought this meant he was getting kicked out of first grade.

I believe his childish brain dreamed up the part about getting kicked out of first grade but I also believe she mentioned showing the agenda to the principal and I was pretty pissed off that it was now affecting Frack.

I told Frack that I would go right into the school office with him the next day and sort it all out.  The secretaries at Frack's school are awesome.  They are sweet and friendly and genuinely love all the children there.  They will tell you how awesome they think your kid is every time you visit and I fucking love them.  So when I brought Frack in and they saw how upset he was they got right to fussing over him and reassuring him that everything was fine, which brought a big smile to his face.

I told the secretaries what Frack told me and they said they would "have a talk with Mme."  After that everything was fine for a while.  She continued to draw her circles and I continued to ignore them and Frack continued to be a happy first grader.

Then finally, she put it in writing.  On March 3 she wrote:  "Please sign every day."  On that particular day I was in the middle of my work week and pretty tired.  I had been waiting for her to specifically request this behaviour and my intention was to write her a letter explaining myself.  But at this time I was tired and not in the best of moods.  I felt it was prudent to just sign the note like I sign all of her notes and then continue to ignore the empty spots, rather than go through the mental effort of writing a well worded missive.

The funny thing is we have met in person twice since all of this began (the second time was about a week after she wrote this note) and she never mentioned it.  I was all prepared for her to say, "Oh by the way, I really want you to sign this agenda every single day no matter what, even if I can't be bothered to write something in it myself."  Then I could explain myself to her in person.  But I certainly wasn't going to bring it up if she wasn't.

Well I guess she finally snapped because when I got home from work yesterday there was a message on my phone.  Ostensibly she was calling because I haven't signed his reading log since last Friday for various reasons which I will soon mention.  But the real reason, which was the bulk of the message, was to stress how much she wanted me to sign the agenda every day no matter what.  "It's the only way I know you are looking at it every day"

Well if you don't write in it every day, how do I know you are looking at it?  Oh right.  Circles.

Anyhoo, I clearly could not put off explaining this to her any longer.  And so I wrote the following letter:

Dear Mme,

Re: Frack's reading

If Frack has the same book two days in a row I don't make him read it both days and therefore do not sign the reading log.  In the past this has meant that the teacher simply forgot to give him a new one.

Also, I recently started a job with 10-12 hour workdays (plus commute).  On days that I work I may not have time to read with Frack and may not be signing the log either, although we will try.

Re: Signing the agenda

I have always promptly acknowledged any communication I have received from you.  I have not been, nor do I plan to be, in the habit of signing my name to blank spaces: something I have always been taught is a foolish thing to do.  I see no need to acknowledge a communication that did not happen.

I have been signing agendas for about nine years and this has never been a problem before.

                                                                                                Mrs.  Rotten

I just sent Frack to school with that letter and I'm not entirely sure what she will do about it.  But I'm definitely looking forward to finding out.  In the meantime there is one thing I do know for sure: