Meet The Rottens

Daddy Rotten  My man.  My Rock.  My bringer of wine.  He is strong and uncomplicated and bears the hardships of parenting with stoic grace.  Much better than I do but then he spends most of his time at work.  We are uniquely suited to each other because we're both cynical, moody and know when to leave each other the hell alone.  We have nicer things in common but these things are the actual glue of our marriage.  I need someone who can be compatible with my inner bitch or else we are doomed.

Frick Rotten  My first born.  My sweet little hellion.  Simultaneously the joy and bane of my existence.  He has taught me everything I know about parenting.  He has ADHD, but then who doesn't these days, am I right?  He is clever and beautiful and funny and has a genius for math and mischief.  I really, really hope just know he is going to be an awesome human being one day.

Frack Rotten  My baby.  The youngest.  A charming little monkey with an impish grin, a baby jew-fro and a speech delay.  He exclusively wears superhero costumes and rubber boots.  Even in bed.

Mother Rotten  My mother in-law.  I just adore this woman.  How lucky am I that I get to love my mother in-law?  Very lucky!  And right now I need all the luck I can get.  Whenever I want to know how to be a better Mom I go to her.

Mummy Dearest  My mother.  I also adore this woman.  She is one of the funniest women you'll ever meet. Whenever I need forgiveness for being a bad mother I go to her.

My friend Jen  This is the name I give to all my friends.  I like it and I have known at least 100 Jens in my life.  So Jen is a lot of different people, some of whom are actually named Jen and some not.  They are all my friends and they are all awesome.  Calling all of them Jen just seemed like the best way to protect their names.

Mommy Rotten  That's me!  Or at least that is my alter ego.  The real me is an intensely shy, intensely private introvert who is almost crippled with anxiety.  But somewhere inside me is a sassy bitch who wants to be heard. My anxiety won't let her out in real life so I blog instead.  I like to think that what I have to say here is honest and helpful to other women.  Having said that, in order to maintain my anonymity I have had to change a few details here and there so expect about 10-15% of what I write to be bullshit.  In fact, just to be safe, if anything I write offends you feel free to file it under that 15%.