Friday 27 April 2012

Pillow Talk and Ostrich Sex

I wake suddenly from a strange dream.  When I roll over to look at Daddy, he is checking his phone messages in bed.

Me:  "Oh my God, I just had the craziest dream....what time is it?"

Daddy:  "7:50"

(I roll over and hug him.)

Me:  "Oh my God it was so weird....my dream...."

Daddy: "Yeah?"

Me:  "Totally.  For some reason I was working on an ostrich farm-"

(Daddy starts looking at me like I'm crazy.)

Me:  "And we had to get the ostriches to mate-"

(Daddy rolls his eyes and lies back down on the pillow)

Me:  "So first, we trick them into this sort of corral thing, road-runner style-"

(Daddy heaves a big sigh and rolls over.  I continue talking in his ear)

Me:  "By that I mean we put this pile of bird seed in the middle of the corral and wait-"

Daddy:  "......(sigh)..."

Me:  "Hey, how do ostriches have sex anyway?  I woke up before that part.  We weren't having much luck with it in the dream."

Daddy:  "...(sigh)..."

Me:  "Like, all the other birds I've seen have sex kind of fly there, y'know?"

(Silence from Daddy)

Me:  "But ostriches are so big.   How do they hang on?  Do you think they use their necks?"

(More silence)

Me:  "Hey, I bet there's a Youtube video!  Y'think they'd have a Youtube video of ostrich sex?"

(More silence.)

Me:  "Are you officially ignoring me now because I'm talking about ostrich sex?"

Daddy:  "Yes."

Me:  "I'll go make you some coffee."

Daddy:  "You're going to check Youtube for ostrich porn, aren't you?"

Me:  "Yes."

And here you have it folks: ostrich porn!  (Warning: NSFW)





Youtube has everything.


8 comments:

  1. Click it...or don't click it...Click it...or don't click it...I still haven't decided.

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    Replies
    1. It's really not that bad....just some ruffled feathers and a money shot at the end.

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  2. I followed you because you posted ostrich porn

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  3. I had never even stopped to consider if birds had penises before. Bird sex had never occurred to me. Now I know.

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  4. Ostrich Porn!!! I should really start reading my blog list in the morning before work. This would have kept me giggling all day long!!

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  5. Jeez I was just getting ready for bed and now this. Guess who's going to dream of ostrich porn now you .... you... hey that's really weird, isn't it? EW

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  6. The dribblies at the end make me a little bit sad inside. I don't know why. It could be that it's ostrich semen and that I can never unsee that. I'm not sure.

    ReplyDelete