Friday 11 May 2012

Are YOU Mom Enough?

I'm sure you all have been waiting to hear my response to Time's controversial cover depicting a beautiful young woman defiantly breastfeeding her four year old looking three year old.

To be honest I've been hiding from this.  I really didn't want to respond to it.


Because it's bullshit, man!

It really pisses me off.  I'm pissed off at the look on the Mom's face.  I'm pissed off that she's a model.  I'm pissed off at the incendiary title "Are You Mom Enough?" and I'm pissed off at the grossed out and judgmental reactions that this article intentionally and successfully elicited.

This is just another example of the media playing into the Mommy Wars bullshit and I fucking hate it.  If you want to know what is holding women back it is bullshit like this.

Do you think I find her confident and defiant look inspiring?  Go to hell, Time magazine.  Seriously.

First let me say what I have always said about breastfeeding: meh.  I breastfed my boys until they were three and I can tell you it is not for everyone and it's not necessary to go beyond your first year or to even do it at all.  I wasn't trying to be defiant.  I wasn't trying to be a feminist.  I wasn't even trying to be a superior mother.  It just happened to work for us.  I knew full well how totally weird it looks for a walking, talking pre-schooler to breastfeed so I kept that shit tight and tried to avoid doing it in public.  And as far as what any woman feeds her kids, so long as she is feeding them, I don't really give a rat's ass.

Because being a Mom takes serious bad-assitude and you do whatever you have to in order to get by.

This cover pisses me off because I don't feel supported by it.  I don't feel like my mothering choices have been validated.  I don't feel like the public is being educated in order to develop sympathy for me.  I feel like Time Magazine put a target on me and women like me so that, should any of us have to nurse our pre-schooler in public for whatever reason we are no longer feeding/comforting our kid.  We are defiantly looking around at all the other Moms and saying "Are YOU Mom enough?  Yeah, I didn't think so."

This did nothing to advance any kind of understanding about the culturally foreign concept of extended nursing. All it did was exploit us, turn us into sideshow freaks to be gawked at and resented, so they can sell more magazines.

As a woman who happily nursed her children beyond the first year I would like to say "Fuck you, Time magazine.  Thanks, but no thanks."


  1. Agree 150% - whether you agree or disagree on the whole breastfeeding thing, the cover was meant to be titilating and sexy and that is disgusting.

  2. I was wondering when this was coming:) I ebf all my kids, and I couldn't believe some of the ignorant comments this elicited. The way TIME magazine staged the cover made me furious.

  3. Well said! I did not make it past 6 months with my three but I commend anyone that does and not because it makes them super human but because they made a choice and stuck to it - FOR THEM. Not for everyone watching or other moms but for them. I do have friends that have that models attitude through and through and I do feel like people like that give extended breastfeeding a bad name but I take it at face value and it certainly doesn't make ME feel like a bad momma.

  4. As a mother of four who was unsuccessful at breastfeeding each time (despite my best efforts these bad boys just didn't produce enough milk)I too am apalled! Not by the picture, although I can understand why any mother who breastfed past the first year would be pissed, but by the bullshit title! So I wasn't MOM ENOUGH?! I still remember the look of sheer horror on my husbands face when he walked in on me with a double breast pump strapped to my chest hysterically sobbing because I couldn't produce enough milk to feed our premature baby. I still shudder at the bouts of depression, fights with the lactation nazi, (lactation nurse: but she may as well have been a nazi with the way she made me feel like an ostracized piece of shit), hundreds of dollars spent on special pumps and other paraphernalia and the absolute worst insomnia due to constant late night attempts at pumping!! The only thing that grossed me out about this cover is the way it tries to pit us all against each other. As a mother who couldn't nurse and still has healthy, smart and beautiful children I too say FUCK YOU Time magazine! Great job yet again Mommy Rotten :)

  5. I want to know what the mom was thinking. Obviously Time didn't have her or the kid's best interests in mind, but did SHE really think this was beneficial to anyone?

    My biggest problem with it is the exploitation of the boy. Too much to type here...

  6. Mommy Rotten, I love you.
    I had my daughter by surrogacy. Nursing was out of the question. Not an option. I still was mom enough. I still am, six years later. We do the best we can, love more than we ever imagined, and don't need anyone telling us we aren't mom enough.

    And I totally agree with Jenn. God help this kid when he's 12 and his friends think his mom is a porn star.