Friday 13 December 2013

Christmas Gets a Break This Year Because I Am Broken

Literally.  I actually broke myself.

For the last month I've had the worst cold you could possibly have that still leaves you well enough to have to show up at work.  I've been keeping track of how long I've been sick because every time I have a cold it always feels like I've had the cold forever.  This can't possibly be true.  WebMD seems to think a cold lasts about a week.

Hahahahahaha!  (Oh!  Ouch!  It hurts to laugh!)

So I've been doing all the right things.  I've spent all my spare time trying to rest and drink lots of fluids and all the stuff you're supposed to do.  Which means my house is a mess and I haven't been posting much lately.  I haven't even bothered to decorate my blog and facebook pages for Anti-Christmas which is actually a lot of fun.  I was looking forward to it this year.

But I have to officially go on hiatus because last night I broke myself.

About two weeks ago I pulled a muscle in my back from coughing too hard.  At the time I thought it hurt pretty bad but what happened last night makes that pain seem minor now.  I went to see my doctor earlier this week and she agreed the muscle was pulled but the good news is that the cold is starting to go away so I should recover pretty soon.  Take some Advil and come back if anything gets worse.

Well, oh boy did it get worse!

I was out Christmas shopping after work last night.  On my way out of the store I coughed so hard I felt something go "pop!" in my back.  This caused a pain so severe I involuntarily shrieked a stream of profanities in front of a family with small children.  I was convinced that I must have cracked a rib and headed straight home so my husband could take me to the hospital.

Every bump in the road made me scream out loud and by the time I got home I wanted to weep.  But I didn't because I'm kind of a bad ass that way and also my kids were really worried about me.

The doctor told me that I had actually pulled the cartilage in my back, which is what made that "popping" sensation.  He gave me some painkillers and anti-inflammatories and told me this was going to take about 6 weeks to get over.

6 weeks!

So I must sadly inform you my friends, that I must take a break from snarking on Christmas this year and blogging in general until I feel better.  Hopefully I will be writing before 6 weeks is up but right now sitting upright is a challenge.  I am able to accomplish this post because I am hopped up on Tylenol 3 but it's making me pretty drowsy and I will soon be incoherent.

In the meantime, please enjoy this festive themed stream of profanity brought to you by that Christmas classic "A Christmas Story".


  1. Oh, fuuuuuudge! I'm SO sorry to hear about your back, but I'm glad you live in Canada, where codeine is plentiful. Get well soon!

  2. That sucks dude, hope you feel better soon. Plus hope that husband is stepping up on the chores