Wednesday 17 August 2011

Because You Asked For It: Your Baby's an Attention Whore

This week in Because You Asked For It:

Source: Inspired Parenting Tips


I was wondering do you have any tips, my baby boy Max is five months old, and he is only happy if me or my partner are in his face playing or he is being carried.

He has every toy you can imagine and we have hours of fun time, bath time and book time also we have 5 classes a week baby sensory and music classes, and he also sees friends too.

Even if he could sit for five minutes while I cook dinner would be great.  I have tried going in and out of the room so he knows I am coming back.  I also carry him in a sling.

I know he is only a baby but this is being silly now if I am not in his eye-sight he cries.  Once I pick him up is is so happy crying stops straight away, he is also breast fed and wakes up at least 9 times (I counted last night) for a cuddle and feed.  He has been in his own room from about 7 weeks old.

Help me figure out my little monkey!


Dear Paula,

Wow, that sounds exhausting!  Between all the playing, holding, carrying, classes and friends you hardly have any time for meaningful punctuation, nevermind five minutes to cook dinner.

Have you considered the possibility that your baby might be an attention whore?  Babies can be assholes that way.  It's all about them all the time and they think the whole world revolves around them.  Feed me!  Wipe my ass!  Entertain me!  As long as you give in to this crap it will never stop.  It's hard to say how this happens.  He could have been born that way or maybe his friends are a bad influence on him.  But look how he's got you wrapped around his tiny finger!

What you need is your iPod.  I know I can't live without mine.  Whenever you want to carve out a few minutes of Mommy time between fun time, bath time and book time just put little Max in a safe place, stick the earphones in your ears, and pump up the volume.  That way your baby can scream his head off and you won't have to listen to it.  When you're done you can come back to him and tell him, "It's not all about you, you know!"

For the night time hours and those frequent feedings get yourself one of those hamster bottles, fill it with breast milk and attach it to the bars of the crib.  An instant feed-on-demand-self-serve station.  If you wrap it in one of your old shirts he might never notice the difference and you can get some better sleep.

And boy, do you need it because you couldn't have been thinking clearly when you signed up for all those expensive classes.  FYI you can play Bach and massage your baby for free at home.

                                                                              -Mommy Rotten


  1. Thanks! I'm pretty new at this so, time will tell but your comment made my night!

  2. I love this!!! Come on people seriously?