Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Did You Forget Your Password?

I'm slow to keep up with the times.  Last night Daddy helped me finally set up my online banking after I bitched at him for not printing a receipt the last time he borrowed my bank card.  I hate not knowing my balance but I've been afraid of convenient technology after a bank machine ate my paycheck once and I had a minor panic attack over it.  Ever the gentleman, he basically did most of the work for me.  All I really had to do was enter a password.

My go to password is something that is really easy for me and only me to remember.  I picked one so embarrassing that wild horses could not induce me to tell anyone what it is, and so weird that no one would be likely to guess.  So once that was done all we had to do was to go through the superfluous step of dreaming up a password retrieval question.  Daddy was kind enough to read some out to me.

"How about 'What is your grandmother's middle name?'"

"I don't know.  Holy shit.  I don't know my Gramma'a middle name!  What is wrong with me?  Wait.  Does she even have a middle name?"

"Okay, so that's out."

"No really, I have her birth certificate somewhere.  Hold on."

"Why do you have her birth certificate?"

"Because she's old.  It's like an historical document or something."

"What about 'What is your Mother's middle name?'"

"Here it is.  See!  No middle name."

"Uh...your Mom's middle name?"

"Margaret.  After my Grandmother.  Hey, wait!  It says here her name is actually "Maggie".  I don't even know her name!  How do I know anything any more?"

"You know what?  Let's try something else.  'When is your wedding anniversary?'"

"When is our wedding anniversary?"

(Looking uncomfortable) "Okaaay.....'What were your wedding colours?'"

(We stare blankly at each other.  We got married on our front lawn.)

"'What is your song?'"

(More blank stares)

"How about 'Where did you first meet each other?'"

"Oh my God, we are the worst kind of people!  (Sigh)  What's the next question?"

"'What is your childhood phone number and area code?'"

"Huh.  Of all things, that is something I know."

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