Thursday 3 May 2012

Because You Asked For It: Selfish Sister-in-law

Source:  Baby Center

How do I deal with a sister-in-law being pregnant when she has known that I have been trying?

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for four months now.  My sister-in-law has known this, and she said that she was not going to try to get pregnant till after me because it would be a lot of work on my mom with my other SIL being 5 months pregnant with her third.  Then I found out a few days ago that she was 2 months pregnant!  what should I do?  should I still try to have a baby? i don't want to cause any problems with her but I also do not think it was right for her to get pregnant before me when she knew I was trying.  I also don't want my mom to be overwhelmed with three newborns and a one year old.  My husband is almost thirty and we feel like it is time, we have been so excited trying.  what do I do?

                                                                       -Baby Center Member

Dear Baby Center Member,

Sounds to me like your SIL is a conniving bitch.  Of course she got herself pregnant before you.  If she has her babies now then your mom will still have time to look after them leaving you with practically nothing!  Oh sure, your mom is going to try to take care of your babies (after all, what else are grandmothers for?) but she'll be swamped!  Can she realistically look after three newborns and a one year old?

If there is anyone who has no business getting pregnant it is your SIL, but the fact that she did it anyway knowing full well you were trying....well that is just despicable.  I'll even bet that she comes up with some lame excuse like failed birth control, but we know better don't we BCM?

Unfortunately for you what's done is done.  If you love your mother you won't burden her with another baby.  You see, that's the problem with these SIL's:  they don't give a shit about your mom because she's not their mom.  She's the mother-in-law.  They'll just keep popping out babies until your mom drops dead from exhaustion.

The good news is that I presume your husband has a mother.  If you really have your heart set on making this baby you should hit up your husband's mom for child care.  Unless she's a heartless monster she will be happy to fulfill her obligatory grandmotherly duties by caring for as many babies as you choose to produce.

Yes, it sucks to have to give up your own mother's child care services but that is the price you pay for being so thoughtful and selfless.

                                                                      Keep trying!

                                                                           Mommy Rotten


  1. My two sisters-in-law and I were all pregnant at the same time and each had girls, within 2 months of each other. It was actually kind of fun, so I guess it depends on what your relationship is with your in-laws :) But, I seriously think that it's nobody's business when you get pregnant and that no outside circumstances should be controlling.

    1. OMG, how did your mother cope with all those babies? :P

      Seriously though, it probably would be kind of fun. The girls can all be close friends and do stuff together. In our family we call simultaneous pregnancies a blessing. But then we also take care of our own babies and call Grandma's child care services a favour, not an obligation.

    2. My mother-in-law is a very "hands on" person. She loved all the babies - especially cuz they were her first granddaughters (she had a bunch of grandsons)! But you're definitely right - - relatives are under NO obligation to provide child care services!!!

  2. Awesome. It's like when someone who's not even trying yet throws a fit if someone else "steals" their baby's name.

  3. Too funny! I guess they've never heard of child care, or perhaps they should become a stay at home mom instead.