Monday 25 November 2013

Hot Trends For Kindergarten

Last week I was invited to sit in and observe Frack's Kindergarten class.  This is pretty typical.  It's supposed to put the parents' minds at ease that their kids are indeed "learning through play".  This last one makes four Kindergarten observations under my belt.  But this last one was a little different.  It seems the little tykes of Room 13 are quite fashionable.  I studied these kids very closely and I think I have a pretty good handle on Kindergarten's hottest trends this season!

Because the flames make it go FASTER!
1. Paper Airplanes

Wow, paper airplanes are big this year!  All the kids are making them.  They are so hot that some kids are stealing paper airplanes from the other kids.  Frack's paper airplanes are in particular high demand.  Since this trend started Frack insists that we make him airplanes almost every day at home.  My husband usually does the folding and I embellish the planes with flames.  Frack likes to add a few technical innovations, like stapling the nose of the plane.  They seem to fly better like that.

For No One's Eyes Only
2.  Writing Notes

The kids are crazy for writing notes!  Can they read?  Not really!  Are they communicating anything through these notes?  Hell no!  Most of Frack's notes for example, are simply a list of his friend's names or words he copies from around the Kindergarten room.  But who cares?  They are awesome!  When the notes are finished they are typically rolled up into little scrolls and given to others as gifts but Frack and his trusty stapler (the stapler is literally his favourite art supply right now) has made a change that is sure to be the next big thing in note-writing.  Frack is actually learning to write short sentences like "Frack Love Mommy" and "Mommy Love Daddy".  He writes this down and then he folds the paper, staples the shit out of it and colours in a heart (that he insists I draw for him) on the outside.  It's so secure that NO ONE CAN READ IT.  Probably not even the NSA.

3.  Scarf On Your Head

Frack has been wearing his scarf on his head like a headband for some time now.  I thought he was just being a typical weird kid but when I was in his class I realized that he is just very fashion savvy.  The kids love tying their scarves around their heads!  It's super popular!  In fact it's kind of a problem.  I watched the teacher tell three very unhappy looking kids that the scarves belong in the coat room, not on their heads in class.

Wait a minute.  Outdoor winter wear being worn indoors?  Reappropriating the use of a thing?  These kids are like the ultimate hipsters!  Don't give in so easily kids!  Fuck the establishment!

4.  Rainbow On A Stick

In Room 13 there are several activity stations but the most popular one by far was a station supplied with paper, crayons and popsicle sticks.  And every single kid there was making a rainbow they would cut out and glue onto a stick.  They played with these Stick Rainbows a lot.  Some rainbows were happy and some were sad and some had only eyes.  One creative little girl whose name begins with "M" made a rainbow that kind of looked like the McDonald's golden arches.  Well hot damn!  Double Rainbow on a Stick!

I just want to mention here that I became acquainted with "M" while looking at a picture of our solar system with Frack.  When I showed him which planet was Venus "M" piped up to tell us that "Venus rhymes with penis".

Which totally made me giggle.

Then my giggling prompted her to solemnly inform me that "penis" isn't funny and that just made me laugh more.  Seriously.  This five year old kid is waaaaay more mature than me.

And, awesome parent and role model that I am, I went on to say "Of course it's funny!  Have you ever seen one?"  And then I was grateful that none of the other adults in the room heard me say that because I probably crossed a line.

This is why I am going to hell.

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