Thursday 20 October 2011

Hey! You Childless Women. Suck it Up and Have Babies Already!

Everyone MUST have babies!
As I was wasting time on facebook this article came up in my newsfeed courtesy of STFU Parents.  It is a post by a mom admonishing her fellow "Generation X" women, a "startling 43%" of whom are childless, to ovary up and start breeding already. Well I, too, am a "Gen X-er" I couldn't agree more!  I mean, what is going on?!?

First of all there's this pathetic excuse that women aged 33-46 are delaying having children because they are overworked and underpaid.  WHAT.  EVER.  If we let personal finances get in the way of making babies we might never have them.  And then where would we be?  We'd be robbed of becoming better people and having our lives enriched (not financially, of course).  I can think of absolutely no other way to enrich your life and improve yourself as a human being.  Besides, our parents and everyone they knew had lots of kids and there wasn't anything wrong with the way our parents were running things, right?

I would love to have more money but that didn't stop me from making babies.  Sure, it had a negative impact on my health and marriage but these are the sacrifices we morally superior women make.  Suck it up!

I want to empathize with women who struggle to find a partner they trust enough to go with on this journey of parenthood.  Because, now that we removed the pathetic excuse of not enough money, the only possible thing that would stand in the way of any rational woman's desire to whelp a litter is lack of a man.  But honestly I just think that these women are gun shy after probably growing up in a broken home.  Live a little ladies!  Have some faith!  Life's an adventure and without children you are totally missing out!  If you're in a relationship that has these kind of trust issues then nothing will clear that up like a screaming, squalling, demanding infant.  I had a baby with my man and everything turned out alright.  Hell, I had two.  What are you afraid of?

And all you single ladies?  It doesn't matter if you don't have a partner to help you, the only thing that matters is that you experience the joys of parenting.  (But only if you're ready for it of course.  After all it is the hardest job in the world.)  Of course given that I am married and have no idea what it is like to be a single mom I'm kind of talking out of my ass here.  But nevermind that.  Just have babies!  What are you waiting for?

Nevermind our overpopulation problem, or the resulting strain on the world's resources.  Nevermind all those statistics that tell us having children makes you less happy, with your happiness returning only after the kids have left home.  You will have macaroni art and sticky kisses.  You will have done the world a wonderful service by  filling it with children.  And if you don't have children you will continue on in your selfish life as an emotionally stunted troll who will never know joy.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.


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  3. Did you even read the WHOLE article? Or the article that this post is about?
    On another note Thank you again for your loving and compassionate look at idiots:)

  4. OMG thank you! I sat here agonizing over how to respond (because I think she's a nice lady underneath that and because I'm a lot nicer than I pretend to be)...I wrote a reply then decided to remove both comments. I always love people to comment but when the comment makes it obvious you weren't paying attention it is just sucks.

    I wrote this post for all my fabulous friends and readers who are, intentionally or otherwise, childless.

  5. In case anyone was curious, the commenter thought I made some great points here and that she herself would still be very selfish if she had not become a mother.

  6. I think its funny the tone of the original article, like some one is less for Choosing to be childless...."jump on the bandwagon already" really??
    I have many friends who have chosen not to have children and lead very fulfilling lives, to think they are otherwise missing out is silly:)

  7. IM leading edge Gen x. I was first in my class and very competitive. I also am a twin, so we made each other better. On the other hand ; I was born married. Now my twin died when we were twenty. I chose NOT to get married until i lived as long without her as i did with her. College was a challenge but i have a degree and worked in finance. I graduated in 1996 or 8. Getting that last German class while working full time was tough. Got an A in intermediate conversational German class. But college took forever. Ten years. I realized I couldn't have it all and l would be an awful mom. Missed my twin who would've helped and couldn't count on my mom. You people are way too judgmental. What do you know about our life circumstances??

  8. That must have been very hard. I don't have a twin but I would have been devastated to lose one of my brothers. I admire the self honesty it took for you to make what was obviously the right decision for you (not to mention the hard work you put in finishing college).

    You're absolutely right. These admonishments to have babies without having any idea what is going on in a person's life are beyond rude. Thanks for the comment!