Friday, 30 September 2011

Because You Asked For It: Quickies

Due to my extended PMS I just don't have the patience this week.  Sometimes short and not-so-sweet is all it really takes.

Source: The Natural Child Project

Dear Jan,


My 3-year-old son, soon to be 4, is obsessed with wearing dresses.  He has been interested in dresses since he could talk.  We are an open-minded family.  We do not spank and have a family bed.  At first, I thought he just wanted to be like his older sister and I.  but now he wants to wear them all the time.  It is very painful for him to be denied this.  His crying when refused his wish to where a dress is sincere and breaks my heart.  I am a stay at home Mom.  I would like to hear from you.  I do not want to hurt, or interfere with my son's true identity.  Please help.


                                                                              Name Withheld.


Dear Name Withheld,

It has been my experience that Jan is long-winded and full of shit.  So here it is: your son is gay.  And that's great!  You just let him wear all the damn dresses he wants and stop worrying about it.  Although, you may want to enroll him in some self-defense classes.  Because there's a lot of assholes out there and no amount of forcing him to wear pants is going to keep them at bay.

(Oh and Jan, fuck you for implying that having a gay son is something to fear or something that can be caused by Name Withheld's anxiety.)

                                                                               Mommy Rotten

Source: Child Central

my 2-year old son is quite a bit advanced for his age, he can tell you all the animals and there sounds his ABC's and numbers 1-30.  He is starting to say quite big words now and I would like to know how can I help him bring it all in to a proper sentence?  He can say a good few sentences already but they are short ones!


                                                                                Danielle
                                                                                (Ireland)

Dear Danielle,

Here are a good few, short sentences.  Nobody likes a show off.  Shut the fuck up.

                                                                                Mommy Rotten

P.S. (Your grammar sucks.)

Source: Parents.com

My almost 3-year-old has a foot fetish.  He has had this since he has recognized feet.  He wants to see and touch everyone's feet.  He even wants to see and touch mannequin's feet at the stores.  This is both perplexing and a bit alarming to us.  Is this a sign that he will have deeper issues later and how do we handle this?  He is advanced in all of his developments and gets along fine with other kids.  This is really his only issue currently.  Please help.


                                                                                  recordskeeper


Dear recordskeeper,

Boys are weird.  Seriously.  It's like you're trying to find something wrong with him.  Relax.  I mean, foot fetish?  Really?  What, is he sucking toes and moaning?  Get your head out of the gutter.  And that means something coming from me.   Because I have a dirty mind.

                                                                                  Mommy Rotten

6 comments:

  1. Re: the dress-wearing boy... Actually, the boy might very well not be gay; he may simply be a cross-dresser. Witness Eddie Izzard. Also, Jan at the Natural Child Project has no idea what Occam's Razor is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed. That did occur to me but I wanted to keep it short. And I definitely think that cross-dressing, transgendered, bisexual or gay are all more likely explanations than fabric softener or the joy of "hanging loose". Re: Jan and Occam's Razor...also agreed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is truly awesome! I think you are totally right in all three cases seeing as these parents are looking for answers in all the wrong places. Better yet they shouldn't be looking for answers at all. Roll with it is what I would say. Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
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